What How and When to Apply the Plan
To overcome anger, look where you are feeling inadequate and learn to talk about it.
Nobody knows everything and it is okay to say, “I don’t know how to do this.” Also, take an honest look at skills and talent you do have. Even if you didn’t finish high school you may be a skilled carpenter, roofer, learn a trade or be a computer whiz. Build on what you do have and admit your weaknesses. You will find relationships improving around you.
Words to use when you are angry, begin with the first person saying, “I” with “feel irritated, upset, frustrated, peeved, ticked, disturbed or offended.” An example would be, “I feel frustrated, there was a wreck down the road, and it took me 45 minutes to get home.”
Claiming responsibility for feellings allows you to vent them in a non-harmful way. Just venting helps lessen anger. Also remember feelings are a connection to an innerself (codependency removes your innerself), so when someone else tells you something don’t tell them they should not feel that way. Tell other people you just want to express how you feel to be understood and not judged for it.
You can lessen anger outbursts.
Practice breathing techniques during rehabilitation. Taking five deep breathes through your stomach will loosen up your body. Also, shaking your fingers and flexing your arms to relax releases pressure. Counting to ten or taking a walk around the block to cool down before you make a decision is very effective.
If you get too angry continue the conversation later or end the topic. Try to stay away from topics where you know there will be opposition, like religion or politics. Don’t try to convince everyone you’re right.
These techniques take practice if codependent anger has become a pattern in your life. Emotional honesty is your way to healthy relationships. Not only with people but to yourself. If you believe in God it is also a way to draw you closer to yourself.
